I’ve been thinking about blogging for a while. I have thoughts and ideas.. things I want to get out of my head but just haven’t had the time. Well maybe, I suppose that’s a lie. Things I just don’t feel like typing.
I guess I could rip the bandaid off in one sentence. My ex-husband is a homeless alcoholic and my mother is dead. Yeah.. that’s what is going on. I feel like a fucking Lifetime movie.
I’m staying home with dad still. My boyfriend is a saint, he’s dealt with all the craziness that is going on in my life and isn’t going anywhere. I love that about him.
Work is being really great dealing with all the time off I’ve had to take due to my dad, mom’s death.. the divorce..
My friends are great, my family is great… I am trying to get the motivation to get finances in order.. get mom’s room cleaned out in order to have a bed and get off the couch.
This has been one hell of a year.. I suppose I’ll blog again soon, there is way more that needs to come out. I haven’t even grieved for mom yet, I haven’t had time.. that’s a lie.. I haven’t allowed myself. I’m being strong for dad.. or me.. or just scared.
For now I will count my blessings.. quit the pity party.. and maybe work on my Lifetime Movie script.
I’ve used the phrase before, actually on my blogher profile. For me blogging was a community of like minded people, then in my opinion it turned into making money. I was out.
Real life should be about surrounding yourself with like minded people, in your family, your friends, your work, your church. I’m not saying that everyone should be, that would be borning. Until my separation I had only one like minded person in my life, a girl from work. She moved on, became a mommy and then there was just me again.
Now.. my friend R and I hang out quite a bit. She is a bit like me. We can talk for hours and enjoy many of the same things. Major difference is that her priority is her son. I appreciate that. I have finally met someone that is very like minded. We met on that on line dating service. Last night was instant messages for about six hours. It was so refreshing to talk to someone who understood things you were trying to say and could feed off one topic on to another. We’re meeting in person tomorrow night, and I’m looking forward to that very much. Unconventional I’m sure but we already decided even if there was not an urge to take it to the next level we could still be great single friends. I’m nervous yet excited.
That’s what this feels like. We are NOT a couple but we are living in the same house. His number one is his son followed by the new girlfriend, yet he wants to act like I mean something to him and he wants to help with my parents. I have to admit it’s like a mutual using of sorts now.
This weekend was his first “sleep over”. It was my first weekend out without being accountable to anyone.. well except my mom who called me in a bar at 2:45am. (yeah really, she doesn’t sleep).
He’s due home at 8pm tonight and I wish that he wasn’t coming back, it would make life so much easier.
I have a guy friend that is interested in renting my other house, I don’t know that it will be enough to dig me out of what I’m in..
I appreciate the comments. I am doing OK. I had a couple days where all I did was cry and cry, but lately I’m doing OK. I’ve gotten made a few times, angry a few times but I will be OK.
I still have to tell work.. and I haven’t told my parents. I am still starting to tell my friends. I am filling my time with events w/ friends.
- Thank you SO much for the birthday wishes. I went home, went to dinner then went to bed. This cold has been kicking my ass. I DID get Chiristmas earrings from mom. They have a little red square stone that its the package and the bow is silver. They aren’t that bad. I’ll wear them. She also got me a topaz ring..my birthstone.
- I’m eating animal crackers right now..YUM. Thank you Mr Maker of Animal crackers for making such a yummy cookie and for your marketing team that came up with such a cute little box.
- I got an HD DVR receiver thing on the TV in my bedroom. Wooo hooo. This means Mark Harmon in HD in my bedroom every Tuesday night. Can you believe it?
- My friend is having a baby. I know but I can’t tell anyone..except for J. I’m so excited..I love babies.
- (just ate a bison..or buffalo..what is the difference…I hate when the cookies are broken)
- I am STILL reading The Story of Edgar Sawtelle. It’s really good I just have limited reading time.
- If you follow me on Twitter or Facebook you’ll know that Saturday BOTH mom and dad fell. Mom did a weeble’s wooble kind of thing and is OK. Dad cracked his yead and we had to go to the ER..just an abrasion though. Those people scare the crap out of me.
- Fancy..you know who I’m talking about you all should be reading her blog too.. She made mention that I am so PG over here.. Same w/ Dolce..I told her this funny story from the weekend and she was like “OMG is that your next post?”…I was like “no”… I guess I tend to keep my blog to the point of..”If I get hit by a bus tomorrow J will not be embarrased when everyone at my wake pulls up the blog”. If you knew me in real life I am a bit more.. NC17 at times. Bri..I throw the F bomb around too much..what else do I do??
- Last night was the first night in FOREVER that I slept through the night and didn’t have to unclog my nose. I really should use that Neti Pot again tonight.
- Friday night I think we’re going to see the new James Bond movie..then Sat Drew is coming over, I hope we see Madagascar II.
- Today it is BEAUTIFUL.. like 60 degrees and sunny. This weekend there is a chance of flurries.
- That “man” that had a baby, is having another one.
- J wants to see The Twilight movie with me.. (lol)
- I am STILL loving my aquacise class but am not looking forward to having to dry my hair when it’s super cold out. THAT is the main thing that sucks about having longer hair now.
- I need a manicure, pedicure and massage.
- Emily is having a baby tomorrow!!
That’s a picture I took last year of the flowers I got for my 41st birthday. I used a paint technique on it. I like it..
Here are a few things on my mind today.
I took pictures at the Zoo. After I got home I realized that I had a fingerprint on the lens. If you go to flickr you may be able to catch it before I edit them all. I tried with this one but you can still see it. Ugg. I totally enjoyed my Sunday at the zoo. We went early, ate breakfast, rode the train and walked ALOT. Just me and my J.
This is a strange thing to type. I found out a girl I know died. Not just a girl but a girl that I was supper dooper great friends with. We did everything together, I thought of her recently since we used to talk a class together at the Y..and tonight my aquacise class starts. She fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck. I don’t feel anything…maybe it’s because we haven’t been friends for at least 15 years…so that I don’t care?? That sounds so heartless. I was more emotional watching My Dog Skip on Saturday then I was hearing about this girls death. I feel worse about feeling guilty then I do a loss. What a horrible confession to make. I had to tell someone though. Strange huh?
I know that just because you come here and talk to me I can’t assume that you read everything that I read..and if you don’t you are missing out on some stuff. So..here is what you need to do and read!
Connie and her family just got back from Alaska. OMG the pictures are awesome.
There are a couple new bloggie babies baking in the oven: Here and Here
I blogged the other day about Jason getting married. Well Kate is getting married too!
Linda got a new hot tub..and his having some MORE work on the bathroom.
Pumpkin is moving from an undisclosed location back to Scotland and is VERY excited.
Sandy’s baby girl is going to SCHOOL for part of the day.
Raquita redid her blog..to combine w/ her photography business. OMG it’s awesome.
I haven’t totally caught up on all my commenting and reading since..Oh July 2ndish.. I may get caught up today!