I am NOT living up to my “nomoreexcuses” montage..
I have avoided my blog because it is now my friend, and it’s holding me accountable.
No.. I have let calls go to voicemail. I need to fire the in home care company.. and it’s family. I have to fire him before my parents go into the poor house. I need to do it by tomorrow….or Saturday.. I’m so fucking chicken shit. I HATE confrontation.
I also got hurt by a friend.. I never get hurt, i usually don’t allow myself to open up enough to get hurt.. I took a chance, first time in at least 12 years and I got hurt.. and I’m not dealing with that very well. I need to walk away but I haven’t. It would be a “death” and I’d have to mourn the loss of the friendship and in hurting this person it would hurt me again.. I don’t feel like dealing with that right now.
I feel like this part of the song Breath
2 AM and I’m still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper, it’s no longer inside of me,
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I’m naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you’ll use them, however you want to
I need to pack and move. Seriously. Paycheck to paycheck is not flying at all. I need to get moving and live my life. This is way harder than I thought it would be.