Confessions

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Here are a few things on my mind today.

I took pictures at the Zoo. After I got home I realized that I had a fingerprint on the lens. If you go to flickr you may be able to catch it before I edit them all. I tried with this one but you can still see it. Ugg. I totally enjoyed my Sunday at the zoo. We went early, ate breakfast, rode the train and walked ALOT. Just me and my J.

This is a strange thing to type. I found out a girl I know died. Not just a girl but a girl that I was supper dooper great friends with. We did everything together, I thought of her recently since we used to talk a class together at the Y..and tonight my aquacise class starts. She fell down a flight of stairs and broke her neck. I don’t feel anything…maybe it’s because we haven’t been friends for at least 15 years…so that I don’t care?? That sounds so heartless. I was more emotional watching My Dog Skip on Saturday then I was hearing about this girls death. I feel worse about feeling guilty then I do a loss. What a horrible confession to make. I had to tell someone though. Strange huh?

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13 responses »

  1. Wow! I’m so sorry. Maybe it just hasn’t sunk in yet. I get that way when something really bad has happened to someone I know like dying it takes me a long time for my brain to really process the magnitude of it before I become emotional. Sometimes it takes me a few days.

  2. Great picture. Sorry about your friend, but you obviously don’t have any emotional ties to her any longer. Feel sad that someone died, and in such a horrible way, and don’t beat yourself up about it.

  3. Don’t feel guilty. Obviously you cared enough to question your lack of emotions.

    I think after a certain length of time, we have aq disconnect with people who don’t have an active role in our lives.
    May she RIP.

  4. Well, you said you haven’t really talked to her in 15 years. I can understand why you wouldn’t feel a whole lot of emotion about her death. I don’t think that makes you heartless.

  5. The pic is still nice.

    The friend was what we call a friend of the road. You have friends for life and friends of the road. During a time in your life, you have friends that fill your needs (while you’re on the road) through work, classes, social circles at the time. Once things change like jobs, classes, circles, the exit on the road is taken and they are gone already.

    They served their purpose, and met your need, and moved on.

    So don’t feel bad hun…you’re all good.

  6. I also love the picture! I can’t imagine why I never thought to take fall pictures at the Zoo, it is so beautiful the way they have increased the landscaping in the last decade.

    A friend of mine once told me that it’s important to remember that most friends are not “friends forever.” This statement makes a lot of sense, and it is NOT a bad thing. People naturally move in different directions through the course of their life.

    My best friend in grade school killed himself. I didn’t even find out until much later. I was in college at the time. I was shocked, but didn’t really grieve. He had isolated himself from most people in High School, and after a point, there is only so much you can do. I was a musician – rock musician – and the IDEA of what a rock musician was supposed to be scared him, and he wouldn’t go to shows, or hang out with me even though I wanted him, to. He was a bit sheltered, but I was certainly no party animal…just LOVED music, that’s all.

    Even after just that couple year separation, I didn’t feel too much, other than the pang of wishing he’d hung around!

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