it’s probably a good thing i’m not catholic…

Standard

otherwise, i’d be reciting 1499 Hail Marys (whatever those are) and 71 Our Fathers (i’m assuming that’s The Lord’s Prayer?)

oh, and i’d be fasting for 9 weeks. looking at my waistline, i could stand to fast for 9 weeks. just let my body feed off itself. hmmm

anyway, i have a few (thousand) questions for you catholic peeps. oh, and before we go ANY FURTHER…please know that i am in NO WAY trying to disrespect your beliefs. k? ok…

so, i went to this site and did an online confessional because i thought it would be kind of funny to see what my penance would be. (ok, maybe that was a little disrespectful. sorry). anyway, i’m going through the 10 mile long list of sins and i’m wondering:

  1. does putting a certain sin in my “shopping cart” once cover all the times it’s happened, or do i have to have one for every single time i’ve comitted that sin? like, seriously, do i have to account for everyday of my life for the past one..two…nine years of my life that i’ve taken birth control?
  2. why is birth control a sin? i have a whole post about this one coming up…
  3. what exactly is felching?
  4. who decides the severity of the sin? in my church, sin is sin. but apparently in the catholic church there are different degrees. kind of like a class c misdemeanor.
  5. so, i know that having sex when you’re not married is a sin. and i know having sex with someone else’s spouse is a sin. what if you’re having premarital sex with someone else’s spouse but you don’t know they’re married? is that a double whammy?

shew! it’s exhausting getting all serious…

i’m going to go raid the liquor cabinet and retire to my room. shhhhhh don’t tell Mary Pat, but uh, I took the plastic sheets off my bed and put the 900 thread count ones i found in the linen closet on there. ohhhh man! they feel goooood

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One response »

  1. I have to “Recite 501 Hail Marys and 28 Our Fathers.” and “fast for a total of 2 weeks.”

    I don’t see the category to check off for “I didn’t recite 501 Hail Mary’s or fast for two weeks.” I wonder if the penalty for that is easier.

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