No, this is NOT a nasty post. If you want nasty you clicked on the wrong link.
Drew is obsessed w/ his penis, and his dad’s and the dogs..penis in general. I’m not quite sure how the plural is spelled, penises?
Anyway; we go to the park after work/school. We thought there was soccer practice but it was cancelled because the coaches grandma passed away..he emailed Dana, she was in Jeff City. So we end up at the park which was fine, there were a bunch of little boys there and they were playing in the playground; running around, driving the dog crazy. Jack likes to go down the slide. OMG, I know. I about had a heart attack.
Drew to the boys: Look at my dog’s penis, isn’t it cool?
Other boy: Drew didn’t know where the butthole was on the dog, I had to show him!
I was going into the ladies room at the park and I told the little rugrats that I was going to the restroom and it was OK if Jack followed me. Squealing was at an all time high cause Jack CAN’T go into the ladies room, he’s a boy dog! Next think you know Jack peed on the ground outside the bathroom door…the boys’ room…then someone had to try to pick him up while he was peeing and people in the next country heard “Jack’s penis was peeing and it touched my hand!!!”… To which I yell : I want whatever boy touched a penis, or pee to get into that bathroom this minute and wash their hands!
To which I have boys running to me, “I didn’t touch the penis, can I play”…
What the hell? When I was Oh…25…I would have NEVER imagined such a conversation.
It gets better though. I think I may have blogged about this..I don’t remember: One day Drew was going to the bathroom and said “Look BB, my penis can wiggle”…and midstream urine gets ALL over the toilet, he’s cracking up..and I’m trying not to laugh..cause it was a good trick. Inappropriate yes..but good none the less.
8 years old = he is more than likely sharing these tricks with his friends.
So at the park yesterday I think this trick came back into play. While J and I were talking to coaches wife Drew comes up and says, “Daddy, can you make your penis wiggle? I can”…J FREAKED… “You do NOT talk about penises when there are women around, you talk to me, Paul or Papa”.. Drew was very sad and I think he was just trying to show off..but I was mortified until coaches wife says, “Yeah, I got a call from school the other day and they said Chase can’t go to the restroom with the other little boys cause the teacher caught 5 of them using the same urinal and having a urine fight and checking out each others penises”.. So I felt a little better.
Please tell me this is a stage cause I’m finding it hard not to laugh…