I Do…(belong in the mental ward)

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Well, first off, I would like to thank Biddy for confessing to spilling au jus sauce all over MP’s sofa. God forbid, I’m going to have a hard enough time explaining the smelly, purple stain on the rug. And the sheer madness of this post.

Nevertheless, my puppy, Bindi, and I have taken over a room here for the night and are having a fabulous time lounging around with our smelly feet on the sofa, redecorating a few rooms, stealing checks from the middle of MP’s checkbook, and trying to decide on the perfect place to hang the Dogs Playing Pool velvet wall-hanging.

And regarding Bindi, she and I have been talking a lot about growing up, where and when she can pee, how to ward off rogue butt-sniffers, and other such girly-girl matters. And in our discussions, we’ve come to the conclusion that because she was born a royal Irish princess, she should be rightfully betrothed to another dog of similar greatness and high moral character. This is Princess Bindi…



So, we started looking for a royal dog with prestigious blood lines and a strong family name.

Perhaps, Toto?

No…he’s a bit too hairy and he’s a wimp. Who’s freaking scared of flying monkeys, anyway?

Maybe Hooch?

Actually, Hooch is an imbacille. He’s slobery and smelly and would probably eat Bindi as a snack.

And then we thought, Snoopy…

However, Snoopy sleeps on top of his shack and he’s got a strange relationship with a bird. It would never work…

So how about Prince Jack—son of the Imperial Majesty, Chi-Chi Rodriguez, Emperor of Mexico?


Yes. We think that Prince Jack would be perfect!!

That being said, I, Lulu, have lost any resemblance of a person with sound mind would like to propose a formal contract of betrothal between Princess Bindi Sue and Prince Jack “Chi-Chi” Rodriguez II. A sort-of doggie ketubah, if you will…

And thanks to a fabulous puppy shower, Bindi has a lavish dowry to offer Jack.

And we’ll hire Doggie I-Do’s to plan the wedding.


And Bindi will wear this dress:



And Jack will wear this tuxedo:

And Lulu will be committed to this mental ward:

I warned you, MP…

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